The Back Pew
Something that’s come to mind recently has been a question of why the back pew of any Church, Cathedral, or neighborhood parish is more frequently occupied by a lone straggler while the front pew remains vacant. Every Thursday here, with the Mercedarian Sisters, we attend our holy hour at 3pm at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, a parish within the Westside happenings of Cleveland, OH. Every Thursday, people wander into the church, some recognizable, others, with faces unknown. As anticipated, almost every one of these individuals come in from the streets and sit in… the back pew.
What is so becoming of that back pew?
During Sunday or daily Masses, I have noticed upon entering or exiting a Church that the body of some stranger mysteriously occupies the wooden pew far, far away in the rear of the church, bent over with their head in their hands. Meanwhile, the pews closest to the altar are occupied by invisible air, kneelers tucked in tight.
Maybe in that back pew, we feel safer because the doors to the world are nearby, a quick exit into the noise is accessible if the silence grows to be too unbearable.
Maybe in our brokenness, we feel we belong there, in safe distance from the purity of all-knowing God who in His might could not possibly forgive our wrongs once more.
Maybe the shame or suffering we endure is so heavy we can’t lift our limbs forward anymore and we collapse into the lonely pew with an ounce of hope.
Maybe it’s simply the want for privacy, away from wandering glances or uninvited stares, from judgmental thoughts or unkind looks.
Maybe the pews in the front are falsely believed to be reserved for holy people, not me.
Maybe the person who comes in is aware that the stench emitting from their unwashed body may be an inconvenience to others around them.
Maybe the hiddenness, away from the light of the altar is what we are drawn towards when we want to crumple up, weary, tired, and sad.
Maybe we don’t want others to see us vulnerable in prayer, gazing at Him with all our beings, all our attention, as if He is All there is in that moment.
Maybe we don’t believe He truly loves us and that His beating heart pumps all the more as we approach Him, as we choose this moment to be with Him. The God Who made us, Who saved us, Who saves us every day and supplies us with His own flesh and blood to keep us going here on the earth.
I do wonder if our church community as a whole would be transformed if we each decided to sit in those intimidating front pews, near the altar. Perhaps the distractions will diminish, leaving our senses more capable of perceiving the visible and invisible enormity of what takes place for our sake.
Imagine walking into a Church on Sunday or even at a random time during a weekday and seeing fellow brothers and sisters closely gathered as if they were eager students sitting in the front of the classroom at their favorite class or dedicated fans at a concert or show. I would think when Jesus was here on earth looking like a man that the crowds pressed up as close as possible to Him to hear Him speak, to observe His mannerisms. Think Zaccheus.
“He (Jesus) entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich.3 Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature. 4 So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way.
When we meet up with friends, we don’t think of sitting more than an arms breadth from them. In the Church, we don’t exactly have the accessibility to sit very close to the tabernacle all the time. What we do have is the power to choose. No matter where you are, Christ is beside you but, what if you moved towards Him?
The Eucharist, God’s Gift of Love
“Do this in remembrance of me.” (1 Corinthians 11:24)
PRAISED BE JESUS IN THE BLESSED SACRAMENT!
In the Eucharist God’s love is expressed; his mercy is manifested in the kenosis of his love expressed as donation, the constant offering of himself to the human being.
The love of God doesn’t have limits, does not come with strings attached, with conditions, requirements… On the contrary, His love is pure agape, given in total surrender and offered to all. But at the same time, God is a mystery, a great mystery hidden in the consecrated bread, the bread of life. Through this Bread, our soul is fed and is to transformed and sanctified.
Eucharist is the most precious oblation of love for the human being. When we are receiving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, we are receiving his very own life in our very limited being; he is transforming our life transforming us in a tabernacle. Ah! If one could only fathom such great mystery… if only our intelligence would perceive the humble omnipotence of God and what He does in our souls when we receive Jesus… then we would live a Thanksgiving and love Him as He deserves.
The Eucharist is the mystery of love that transforms our human misery and makes us in the image and likeness of the Creator.
A Eucharist Mercedarian soul must live a constant oblation to God in contemplative prayer and in service to our brothers and sisters. It should be a soul that is living free, that overflows with joy, fullness of life, a living tabernacle. In other words it is a soul that witnesses the fullness of the presence of our beloved Jesus and therefore it is able to project God.
Pray for each one of us, Mercedarian Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament, so we may show our love to Jesus in the Eucharist and live with plenitude each Eucharistic celebration as a meeting of our soul with that of the Beloved.
Sr. Maria Isabel, HMSS
As a Bridegroom Rejoices in His Bride
V.J.E.
Mom, this entry is for you.
On September 29, the Feast of the Archangels, Katie, Ines and I (April) will begin the Novitiate. During the ceremony, we will receive the veil, the habit, and the title of “Sister”. We will part with our long hair, and join the ranks of the Mercedarian Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament. Our beautiful postulant Sisters will be singing for the Mass, and members of our families, friends, and Our Lady of Mount Carmel School will be in attendance. But what does this ceremony really mean? Is it not just another step in a process, another rung to be climbed on some “ladder-to-holiness”? No. For me, this is my first, real “I do”.
Sure, I have said lots of “yeses” in my life, and every day must be filled with “yeses” if we choose to love. But there is something so official, so final about this beginning. I suppose the best way I can express it is this: this is my formal engagement announcement. Jesus has asked for my hand, for my whole being in marriage, and I desire to lay down my life for Him. I am so very weak, so very poor, but Jesus sees this, and He loves my weakness. I cannot say that I understand this – no, I struggle so much with my weaknesses. But I can say that I love Him, I want to let Him be my strength, and I desire to be His forever. I look forward to the day in which I can proceed in this covenant of love with the blessing of Holy Mother Church by taking my perpetual vows.
In Heaven, we will be completely united with God. There will be no longer marriage between creatures, but between Christ and His Bride. “For as a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you” (Isaiah 62:5). And the way in which He loves… it is so magnificently beyond us. What is so amazing, almost unbelievable, is that we can begin to live this spousal relationship now. Not just by a formal consecration, but in our lives as single people, as husbands, as wives, as sons and daughters, as parents. All of us are called to holiness. All of us are called to be Saints. And all of us are created to love and be loved. We are God’s Beloved, and He is the Lover of our souls, the only One Who truly knows us. And, the more we love God, the more we will let go of our attachments to temporal things, and the more (paradoxically) we will truly be able to love His creation. May Jesus’ Love reign in our hearts, and may we learn to love Him above all. God bless you and your family.
Evangelizing with Mary in the Light of the Eucharist,
April Marie